Holidays are stupid. What purpose do they serve? Sure, less significant holidays give a great number of people the day off, which is nice, unless you work in most customer service industries where your day actually gets harder. The issue I have with holidays, however, runs a little deeper than just those sad few, but it’s not a bad place to start.

Labor Day, a day where laborers can have to relax for a day. What genius made that up? Firstly, only a select few actually get then day off, those being union workers, defeating the purpose of the day. Secondly, labor day is literally a day that someone thought to themselves, ‘we haven’t had a holiday in a minute, lest just make one up.’ We have too many holidays in this country evident by the pointless ones that exist. Columbus day is another one, but that has more to do with the quality of person Christopher Columbus was than anything else. Now, I do agree with the argument that no land is gotten without being conquered, I just don’t think he should have his own day. Lincoln doesn’t even have his own day. Why should Columbus get a day that rivals JESUS CHRIST.

‘bUt JaMeS, nOt EvErYoNe BeLiEvEs In JeSuS.’ Not everyone believes in Columbus’s character, which is close to the same, if not the same principle. ‘BuT jAaAaAmEs, CoLuMbUs DaY dOeSn’T cOmPaRe To ChRiStMaS.’ This is not untrue, but think about this, Christopher Columbus has a hay honoring his act of ‘discovering’ America. Jesus, although his day is more vehemently celebrated, is a day of greed honoring a bearded man with a B&E habit. Which brings me to the major holidays.

Christmas celebrates greed. “AcTuAlLy, ItS aBoUt GiViNg.’ Actually, it’s not. If it were about giving, don’t you think children would participate in the giving part? Would they not help in getting gifts for their families rather than pretending to be good for a week before Christmas, if that much, to get what they want? If you do that in your family, great, but the majority don’t perform that way.

My last point, and I can’t stress this enough, is about the family aspect of major holidays. I love my family, or at least most of them, but that doesn’t mean I want to see all of them at once. I admit, I prefer groups because one on one can be uncomfortable for me unless it’s a select few people, but a group of family is far worse than one on one with even a stranger. ‘You have to spend time with family,’ and I don’t disagree with that, but wouldn’t it be better to spend time with family in a less hostile way? Don’t holidays create unnessesary tension within family groups that don’t get along one on one? Why force people to spend time with people they have distaste for on principle? In a lot of cases, these families aren’t even family. ‘you can have family that aint blood, blood that aint family,’ sure you can, but how often is that the case in a family gathering. I see my friend Walter as family, but I don’t see my wife’s sister as same. And I don’t even get to see Walt during family gatherings during holidays. Food for thought.

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